I remember being nervous the first time I submitted to MIMP. Like, super nervous. Check my phone every five minutes to see if my photo was posted nervous. You know that feeling when you send a nude to someone and you have to put your phone out of reach because you’re so panicked waiting on the response? I had just done that times infinity.
After an hour or so I gave up and tried to put my anxiety, and phone, aside. Ironically, I didn’t know it was posted until my ex texted me his praises (the same ex who told me a few months later that he loves me but can’t be with a big girl *eyeroll*).
I’ve never really identified as a “big girl” though. Of course I’m aware of my weight, but I’m a Cajun/Sicilian/Hungarian/Texan feminist who got a full scholarship to her top college choice and loves blowjobs—my weight is just my weight. I will label myself as eccentric or funny or kind before I ever feel the need to label myself as big.
Funny thing is, my weight was why I was so anxious about submitting. I knew I didn’t measure up to all of the beautiful, skinny girls on here. I don’t even know how I built up the nerve to do it. Imagine my surprise when not only did my first submission get posted, but so did all of the others in the future. An even bigger surprise was that people loved it. When I got the email about joining A Day With Me, I think my heart stopped. I was in complete disbelief. I must have read that email 30 times.
On days when I’m feeling a little low, I return to that doubt and start to question myself and why I agreed to be on here. I’ve always been a bit of a black sheep, but did I really agree to put that on blast on the Internet?
I know what I look like, and I know I’m not the stereotypical version of sexy. It’s didn’t occur to me until adulthood that I could be big AND beautiful. Even now I have a hard time not comparing myself to the other girls on here. You’re all so darn cute! Why would MIMP want me when they have them?
What brings me out of those negative thoughts is that email. They asked ME. Hell, I was one of the first new girls on the app. How could I forget that? I’m here because y’all want me to be.
I just turned 26, and this is the most comfortable I think I’ve ever been with being Kailey, and I know part of that is thanks to MIMP. Big girl or not, my sexuality is unique and it is powerful. Most of all, it’s something that I’m proud of. For some reason, people seem to think that girls who pose nude don’t respect themselves. For me, posing nude has been my way of reclaiming the sexiness and confidence that not everyone thinks I have the right to.
I know how nerve wracking it can be to put yourself out there—whether it’s your words, your feelings, or even your body. If you’ve been on the fence about submitting, I hope you gain the confidence to do so. Like Carrie Bradshaw said, I would rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.