stickyisaslut:

Do you ever feel verbally constipated and mentally hung over? 

Do you ever want to take a time out from life and consult your audience like they did on all those late 80s tv shows?

Do you ever feel like you’ve got a million things to complain about but complaining will make you sound foolish because you know damn well it won’t get you anywhere, kind of like the 405 freeway at 8:00 a.m. on a Tuesday?

Do you need a vacation?

I need one. I also need a big drink a big joint and a nice, big, d***.